Managing Outcomes


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I’d recommend Napoleon Hill’s “Think and Grow Rich” to anyone who is need for some motivation. The book mainly emphasizes on self-belief, positive attitude and perseverance to achieve success in life. This is not to say that if one possesses the positive mindset, he will never fail. Failures are parts and parcel of life.

Hence, I was in a conflict with this belief when I was reading the book. A positive attitude would definitely benefit us in raising the probability of succeeding in a specific goal. However, as much control we like to think we have, we are still bound to the unpredictability of life. There is still a possibility of failure. How do I approach this concept then?

Using what I’ve learn from the book, I came up with my own 3 steps to approach a goal.

1)      Positive mindset/attitude

Visualizing the success infuses the self-belief and motivation to perform better at the required tasks to reach the goal. With positivity flowing, your mind is more open to opportunities that are laid out. God willing, you are going to achieve this goal

2)      Manage failures, but don’t expect them

You did everything right, but still did not succeed. Some come crashing down after a failure, after expecting 100% success. This hits them hard. However, you can learn to manage these failures if they arise. As the saying goes, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Life goes on. Tomorrow is a new day to work on your goal again.

3)      Learn from your success/failure

Take every success or failure as a learning outcome. A certain event would not determine the type of person you are and always will be. Your life is a dynamic and ever-changing process. It gives you abundant of chances to improve and pick yourself up again. The “person” you are now, would not be the same “person” 2 or 5 years down the road.

I joined my first ever grappling competition today. I instilled a positive attitude throughout. I visualized my goals. I was there to do my best. I’ll manage losing if it comes. However,  this time around, I managed to come out being the champion. Today was my day, but other days might not be the same. For that I am grateful and still have much more to learn. 



What’s next?


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2013 is coming to an end. It is a good time to reflect on significant events that happened this year. Our accomplishments and our failures.

Featured in Men’s Health August Issue

Nevertheless, whether you realise it or not, you have added some form of value to yourself this year. Personally, I keep asking myself “What’s next?”, once I have achieved certain goals. I take some time to get myself composed and comfortable, before creating new paths. Life brings so many opportunities to us. We have to seize it.


Hope to get a planche out by end of 2014. One of my many goals.

What’s next for you?

The Conveyor Belt


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Recently, I was listening to a motivational speaker who portrayed life’s journey as a conveyor belt. Everyone is on it. However, the actions we make in our daily lives dictate our destination. There are bound to be days where we get lost in it all (work, family commitments, financial issues, etc). However, the thing about a bad day or week or month is that it has to end. Every morning is another opportunity to pick yourself up again.

Take note of positive changes to yourself or others daily. No matter how small it is. It could be new found knowledge gained or a kind gesture that you gave to someone. Or maybe you finally decided to spend your nights taking walks instead of watching the television. You did something which added value to yourself. With consistency, this would snowball into huge positive changes to yourself.

With this positive attitude and mentality towards life, I am looking forward for the future. Monday mornings at work are no longer as dreadful as what most others claim.

Every day, I am a step closer to the man I want to be.


Know your current state


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The first step to making significant changes in your life is to recognize and accept your current state. Most people are afraid to accept what they are (lazy, obese, unhealthy, anger issues), and go on leading their lives in ignorance of who they really are.  Here are some tips to help with the self-assessment.

1) Analyse yourself.

Your strength and weaknesses. Your strong points and your faults. There are qualities about yourself to be proud of. At the same time, there is always something to improve. Write them down. Writing helps validate and strengthen the awareness.

2) Be honest and truthful with the self-criticisms.

See yourself objectively. It is easier to find faults in others than yourself. If you’re able to detach yourself(view yourself as a 3rd party), you’d have a more acceptable and sincere analysis.

3) Be aware of opinions of others

Listen.  Seek advice from trustworthy individuals(family, close relatives, friends) regarding that personal trait/current state that you intend to fix. They are your mirrors. They see aspects of yourself that you might not notice. Their words might hurt. However, use their words constructively in defining the issue you would like to fix. Keep your ego in check.

You only would know the best step to take next, if you know where you truly are.

Disconnect to Reconnect – Followup


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Back in October I started a NoFacebook/Twitter/Instagram month in a noble attempt to reduce my dependency on social networks. The ultimate motivation for the initiative was to be more productive at work and in my other daily activities. I felt time could have been better utilized on actions which added value to my personal growth.

The “fast” was completed with a refreshed perspective and a positive awareness of the effects of some social networks on myself. Mark Sisson from Mark’s Daily Apple has written a few noteworthy articles regarding the effects of social network. One of it was regarding “the physiological consequences of being hyperconnected”.


On the surface, one would think that checking our Facebook, sending texts, reading emails, and sharing Instagram photos should us feel like we’re establishing and maintaining meaningful connections with other humans, but the reality is that these pursuits taken to an extreme only make us feel more isolated from and less connected with real people. In fact, the more frequently you use social media or check your phone the more likely you are to report feeling sad, depressed, and lonely. A recent study in young adults showed that Facebook use predicts declines in subjective well-being, while “direct” contact with people does not. Some clinicians even have a name for it: Facebook depression.

On top of all those physical and psychological consequences, we’re also missing out on the other stuff I mentioned at the start – the conversations, the smiles, the laughs, the everyday bits and pieces of life occurring right in front of our perpetually averted eyes.

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However following the “fast”, I noticed a tendency to return to the mindless addiction of the said social networks if actions were left uncontrolled.

Here are some methods I have adapted into my daily routine to keep myself in check.

1) Log out from the social networks after you’re done.

It is more troublesome to type in your username and password again. It acts as a barrier to entering the website/social network when you find yourself with nothing else to do (there is always something to do by the way). Log it off from your mobile phones, computers and other social devices.

2) Schedule a time meant for social network

15 mins – 30 mins is all you need. Compartmentalize your social network time slots in your day. Before work? Lunch time? After work? Stick to the timeslots and you’d find yourself in control of your day.

3) Dealing with excess information

With regards to Facebook incessant newsfeed of “friends”, there would be a possibility of you finding yourself viewing the life of acquaintances whom you hardly meet. Keep your newsfeed limited to a few selected individuals you are closed to; i.e Family, relatives, 1 or 2 close friends. Remove the newsfeed of the others. Knowing too much of what is going in the lives of others makes us forget what is going on in our own.

Social networking sites could be a great tool to keep connected to people and long-lost friends. However, it is dangerously easy to get caught up with it. Learn how to use them wisely.

Speak slowly


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“You need to speak slowly”, said my dad to me recently. We were having a random family conversation at home.

Initially, I didn’t take that criticism too well. I thought the issue came from him not able to hear well (he is in his 60s) instead of my “unclear and rushed” speech.

However, his mild criticism towards my speech grew on me throughout the day. I began to realise there could be some truth to what he said. No harm listening and use it to improve myself.

My thoughts are clearer when I’m speaking slowly. When I first attempted it, I felt that I sound retarded (J), given how much time it took for my thoughts to process the proper words. However, it got better as I practiced. I felt “in control” of my own words. I felt more sincere in my speech. I felt more confident.

It takes a while to get used to. Especially if we were used to speaking fast. However, if you are more conscious of it, it would go a long way of improving your speech. It is always interesting to start a new routine(speaking slowly in this case) and find out what you are capable of.

Establishing Routines



It takes time to start a good habit. Habits make it mentally easier to do something as the mind doesn’t have to put in much focus and energy into it. It comes naturally.

There was recently debunked study regarding the presumption that it takes 21 days to cultivate a habit. The conclusion was that it would take much longer than that, a rough estimate being 66 days.

Routines do not come easily, neither are they started easily. You can’t expect to get everything right the first time. It takes awhile to adjust to it. I personally give myself a month or two before I settle into a routine.

The important aspect of it is to not give up(as cliché as that sounds). Learn from the challenges inhibiting the habit and overcome them.

Halfway through SOCIALNETWORKFREE October

Halfway through no Social network October.

Disconnect from the virtual world to reconnect with myself and the people physically around me.

Rediscovered breathing properly to manage anxiety again.

So far how I felt

  • More productive at work
  • Began to complete more books from my reading material
  • Treasured talking to people more
  • Started to find great ways to occupy myself

However, there’s this longing to reconnect with others which still persists.

No Facebook/Twitter/Instagram Day #1

Embarking on a new journey of rediscovering myself. Too often that we humans are overdependent on such social networks as a means of entertainment, or just to pass the time.

Set myself a goal of not to login to the above social network sites for a month. Hoping to share my reflections on some days and on the last day of the targeted month.

Today was the first day of the journey. I realised some habits that I had to remind myself to control.

1) My fingers just auto typed “” upon launching a browser.

2) I browsed to the social apps page in my phone once I found some free time for myself (good thing I logged out of all them beforehand)

I did feel a bit restless, but I manage to channel that energy by finishing a book on my Kindle. However, I did find myself browsing Reddit often still.

It is only the first day. Whether the discipline or mood remains in the coming days….well lets find out.


Breathing properly is a free and easy exercise that relieves your mind of stress and helps you focus better.

Whenever you feel yourself sleepy or mentally tired, just try taking a long inhalation and exhalation. Imagine yourself breathing out your “worries” away.